Character Flaw

I had a shitty day. Probably the worst in a few years. So let’s get to the meat of what I thought about feeling like this. I thought about Jesus Christ.

I’m by no means a religious person nor do I believe in Christianity, but I’m not here to baw on about my religious worldview. The story of Christ for me suggests something truly poignant while I’m feeling like this.

Christ as a man saved those around him via his miracles and saved the souls of many through his teachings, but at the end of the day, at least in his mortal form, could not save himself. That irks me more than anything even somewhat putting myself in his shoes.

I try to help my friends and always attempt to reach out to others to help him, but what today has shown me more than anything. I have not put that energy into saving myself. I’ve attempted to save everyone and everything, including my reputation, but I did not save myself.

What have I been doing? Why don’t I have any stability? Why do I end up like this? The thoughts bang at my head. Am I supposed to play some arrogant womanizer while my life in its actuality tumbles down around me?

All I realize is that without a stable base all the women in the world and all the “success” in the world is irrelevant. I’m just going to be another dog.

It’s time to pull the curtain down and put my house in order.

And you reader are wondering why I told you all of this? Why I put all my woes out onto a sheet of paper?

It’s a reminder to put your house in order as well. Look around and odds are in everyone you see something haunting them. And if they are haunting them they are haunting you as well.

Clean up and be tidy.

All the best,

Comte De St. Germain

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