Patterns of Female Personality in my Life

As a guy who gets frequently, but not always with the kind of girls I want, I’ve started to take more stock looking back at the personalities of these women. Definitely telling for introspective reasons as I was a rather shy kid for a good portion of my childhood and this reflects back at the kind of women I pull.

I’ve just noticed that the startling majority were social outcasts in a way and definitely on the shyer end of the spectrum. Heavily suffering or wowed from the transition to beautiful swan from ugly duckling. It’s always been that way and it feels like I’m projecting in a way.

Over-empathizing might definitely be bad game. Empathy is cool and all. It’s great for approaching a girl from the proper social angle, alcohol+drug fueled benders being the exception to that general rule, but it definitely gets me sucked into a pattern. I try too hard to not scare the cat that I end up denying myself sexual gratification unless she is that kind of tiny cat that needs coddling.

Perhaps it’s just an addiction to that look in these girl’s eyes when they’ve fallen hook, line, sinker. A power trip so I can feel emotionally secure even though I am very much affected when those relationships end and that first fucking I give them means the world at the time.

Or I’m just too complacent in what I like to chase what I can more effectively get and keep. To a wolf a deer with a broken leg is twice as game as the one that’s bigger and sprinting away.

It’s a good thing to meditate on. Might help me get more variety personality wise.

All the best,

 

Comte De St. Germain

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