Do I even Deserve Love?

I look back on my life.

I’m a truly detestable person.

I’ve used others(and been used in all fairness) for my own personal gain. I’ve loved and cared others not out of a sense of altruism but out the expectation that I’m to be repaid.

To me that’s natural.

All for my grandiose vision and entitlement to megalomania. I’m a great man as I’d like to believe.

Though I still don’t feel like I deserve to be loved. If not for the sins I’ve committed, instead I’d say for the hollowness of my interactions.

My “social circle” was built all for my personal gain.

I have true friends now, but is that truly something deserving?

The love I’ve received from women worthwhile for them? Even though they are but faces by and large(though with exceptions).

Am I worthy?

That’s the thought I struggle with day to day.

I feed on the dreams of others to satisfy my own ends. I guess to achieve happiness . Even I don’t know if that’s the true answer.

Anyways am I deserving of love?

I don’t know but I’d like to know.

All the best,

Comte De St. Germain

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Maintaining an Image

Well this is a disclaimer post that I haven’t done in a while. Mainly because it’s something I harped about in my early forum days that still hold true to this day. So lets get to it. Contrary to the abundance of rep points and the way I interact with everyone the perception of me as a hardcore pussy slaying womanizer is over-exaggerated.

I’m far ahead of the average man(not hard to do), but respectably¬†below the weight that well established forum members are.

Most of my massive notch count(I would say average among the well repped guys on the forum) is also due to my young age and having really good, self-assured inner game when I was a teen in a teenage environment which literally led to it falling on my lap.

Any really young guy(16-19) all they have to do is not put up with bullshit and they’ll get massive loads of pussy handed to them on a silver platter. It is that easy. Though that’s not something that needs to be talked about extensively as A. it’s not the audience I’m writing for and B. it’s not an audience that would come to this sphere unless they were severely autistic meaning they won’t have game until they rewire themselves which is a moot point as they’ll be atleast 21 by the time they kind of get it.

Anyways back to the issue at hand. Really what is implied by my real life personality, demeanor, and way of thinking leads back to that transient womanizer’s image. And the image is much more useful than the reality. And it’ll always transform you into something even more interesting than the image.

I attract and am held in esteem by men for this so called “wisdom” I’ve accrued and I enchant women who want to be a part of this ideal(both actively seeking the role of side piece or refusing and wanting to be the “only one” or strangely enough just simply to enjoy my company).

By gathering these people it becomes self fulfilling prophecy. I’m in the company of beautiful women and of above par men of all stripes. And no I’m not fucking all these women. They’re simply just at my table just like the men. It’s picturesque, idyllic, and fosters a kind of respect from all that leads to an interesting lifestyle where it’s no strange thing to be somewhere by myself or in the top of the crowd.

Some idiots will tell you that you should fuck every woman in sight. That there is no reason to foster relationships beyond carnal with women. That we should inherently limit the scope of our interactions to men with cop out answers like “women are dumb children so why waste your time with them beyond a fucking”. But that boxes you in.

By expanding my interactions, I create a story worth living in and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

And much the same I think every intelligent man is capable of creating their image. Something that suits and attracts others to them. That builds a life story for them and allows them to transcend the caricature.

All the best,

Comte De St. Germain

The Mirror Image

I’m a person who thrives on conflict. My worldview is fairly Byronic with a thrill seeker’s twist. I guess that’s the justification on why I came to see this fact as it is.

My closest compatriots are of three main varieties. Those entranced with what comes out of my mouth(women being the general majority of such folk), those with whom I find a common struggle, and those whom are my mirror images(generally blending in with category two but distinct merely due to the exceptions). The fact I’m here to state is that everyone has the potential to have that third distinct category as their closest confidants and friends without exception.

So lets define the mirror image. It is someone who is like you in temperament and to a degree a way of life, but differs almost fundamentally in their progression to that same conclusion as well as their entire worldview is completely antithetical to yours. Hence the mirror image. They’re an inverted you. And irrespective of those massive differences you are naturally drawn to them and vice versa as friends. Their loyalty is almost assuredly without fail as well.

Humans are drawn to struggle, but at the same time we’re drawn to the same. Struggle is generally related to some kind of conflict which is why those with common cause are bound together. At the same time it’s why enemies that genuinely view each other as worthy rivals are always cordial and appreciate each other. For remember the time that Saladin and Richard the Lionheart appreciated each other for what they were. Great men! Fuck off with your ideological bantering! The enemy is to be respected even after their senility and fall from grace[fight with a tear in your eye for how they great they once were]! You ideologically infused pigs! You wretched whores, miserable wretches, sniveling sycophants, and bastards that believe in total war and dehumanization!

-I’d tear those assholes a new one, but that kind of diatribe is fit for personal stress relief.-

So we’re back at the mirror image and its greater meaning. These men in our lives are there for a reason. To keep you sharp between the ears and to always provide a good challenge. Realize a different line of thinking with similar ways of life is an inversion away. I refuse to think of their means as the proper way, but nonetheless I respect their beliefs.

The only shame is that there isn’t an army that thought like me. But that would be boring especially with someone of my line of thought. And here in lies the true importance. Boredom and a lack of meaningful struggle is a rotten cancer that creates the living dead.

All the best,

 

Comte De St. Germain

Consistently Inconsistent and the Art of Persuasion+Misdirection

I agree lying never got a man anywhere. Lying in the traditional sense of the word(a cop or a doctor lying to a dead victim’s family about how their loved one passed away peacefully is honorable). To mislead blatantly and dare I say it with utter disregard for ones morality and more importantly to the degree that you’re blemishing the dignity/honor of those whom you lie too. Nothing is more of a surefire way to end up in an unmarked ditch.

I generally don’t praise incessant tenacity for it’s own sake as it’s a concept that isn’t fluid. But there is one place where it’s valued, in my opinion, for the greater growth of one’s reputation and self. When in the drive of consistency.

And we’re back to consistency again. So I’ll be brief on it. Consistency is thematic not action oriented. It’s based on the vibe, archetype, theme, or whatever you like to call it of the person in question.

So be consistently inconsistent with that in mind. Now to move on to another of its applications. If you want to be a spinner of webs and become more of a social butterfly it’s best to layer this consistent inconsistency with layer upon on layer of truth.

Not hard truth though. Soft truth. Generic truth. Nothing misleads and sends people into spirals about who or what you are than telling the truth of life. Yours, the world’s, etc. You will persuade people more with generic platitudes that you then tailor in a one on one situation to the person in question than you would by giving hard and fast life advice from the get go.

People do not like being judged. Much more they do not like being wrong. These rules are simple constraints to get by. To get your message into their heads all it takes is to adapt what you say so that it is not judgmental in a serious way so their feelings are not slighted, but is internalized due to it fitting like a jigsaw into their worldview though it may run contrary to it. A virus if you will. Secondly they are not wrong. Their beliefs just need to be “reinterpreted” into a more “accurate” worldview. Modern society if you will.

Back to being consistently inconsistent. As a wild card of a various archetype. Serious and studious or quite not so. You can still be unreadable truly to work this method into the thoughts of those around you.

Well dare I say it.

It’s also the way most people themselves, myself included, are influenced. Neat little jigsaws put in by people or things we respect. Unintentionally from people, in general. And intentionally from things, in general.

All the best,

Comte De St. Germain

The Result of the Unspeakable and Horrid

I knew a man who saw something horrible and unspeakable happen to someone and it plagued his mind. Taxed him to an extreme degree. Terrorized his nightmares.

The man in question from then on kept a revolver filled with bullets under his pillow as a result of seeing this.

The scariest thing to me wasn’t the horrid and unspeakable thing that he saw.

It was the effect that seeing those things had on him.

For the revolver wasn’t to keep people away that would do such bodily harm.

It was if those nightmares got so bad he would go to the mirror, look himself in the eyes, and blow his own brains out if need be from being unable to handle the thought of it.

Sadly he kept on living like this until he succumbed to death of natural causes.

But for me that was the scariest thing. Having that image replay in your head for what seems an eternity suffering with anguish. The thought of that to me is inconsequential to what will amount to a few hours or so of pain that your body will eventually numb itself too due to the mechanisms of the brain.

For if anything our remains will decompose and God himself will provide us the ability to rebuild our personal vessel in proper form in some form of afterlife. And if you do not find yourself in belief of God at very least you will be in oblivion by then.

For Faust himself suffered after Mephistopheles wrote in the student’s book “And so you will be like God knowing good and evil.”

I think a Mr. Lovecraft would share this same opinion.

All the best,

Comte De St. Germain

On Age and Temperament

David Rockefeller died recently. As a man of extreme longevity and extreme malice. It got me thinking about age.

“The good die young.”

Personally I think it’s false, but how long a person lasts in this world I think does depend on one’s morality and temperament.

The oldest living generally are beings of what can be considered evil. Any human that lives far too long is either evil in his personal life and/or evil to the world. Evil in the personal life coming from the long lived stems from the fact that those that live past a certain age even start to see their own children become weathered by time. Aching bones and feebleness from those that are caring from them. Nothing could be more cruel than the will of a stubborn individual clinging to this world while making their own aging children suffer. For those that cling stubbornly to do evil we have men like Rockefeller whose own malice sustains their wits and being. They wreak havoc and get the punishment that is old age(suffering fully conscious due to their prolonged wits) creating a sadomasochistic duality in them.

For those that die young it’s less morality as it is the dual qualities of vanity and pride. They live quickly and they live dangerously putting the full force of their lives into a great moment and burning out. And so they become immortal in the memory of those around them and on rare occasion those that come after them. Their punishment for their only sin, hubris, being that they lack the most important currency, time. If only one more moment. If only….if only great Alexander lived…..

All the best,

Comte De St. Germain

The Greatest Sin

I think the greatest sin in the world is those who disparage and discriminate against those for a thing they had no control over. Circumstances of fate.

The beautiful deaf girl treated like shit by jealous harpies.

The Downs Syndrome child abused by his parents.

The veteran with two missing legs berated by SJWs.

Et Cetera

Sickening to say the least.

That is the greatest sin any person can commit in my eyes.

All the best,

Comte De St. Germain